Is it OK to just state my CV as a father of 4 very successful daughters and an employer of many youngsters over the years. I’ve made many mistakes but this blog is not long enough for details; so maybe I should just jump in with all the things I have learnt..
My 1st experience with ‘deficiency’ came after I employed the 1st youngster who could not take responsibility. I blamed it on the fact that he never went to the ‘Army’.
When I enrolled in the SA Defence Force in 1972, the Corporal was not really interested in our leadership qualities or in fact any other skill. He just chased us around, made us tired and the goal apparently was to prepare us for the day when we were going to be at war. Then we just had to be able to take orders, complete them with great responsibility and make sure our families at home were safe from invaders. We had to do push ups before we could open a letter from our girl friends, had to run to get a specific leaf from a distant tree and when we got back, we had apparently picked the wrong one and we had to run back to get the ‘right’ one. Only after 6 months, if they saw we had a little life left, they put us on a leadership course. So, when I had to deal with my 1st irresponsible employee, I lost it and started giving him my own army training at work. Needless to say, he didn’t understand what I was after and just saw me as a very strict boss who wanted to micromanage him. I became a specialist at writing policies and procedures to prevent people from making mistakes and not to forget something.
Years later, when my own children started working for me, I discovered they were completely different from the other youngsters at work. Now this came as a complete surprise and I asked my wife Louwtjie if we could have more children (seeing that she had the recipe) to bring forth disciplined, responsible employees who are just complete blessings to work with.
Then one day, after a parenting course we attended, the pieces of the puzzle came together. We learnt that children learn facts from age 0 to 6, like red table, car, cat etc. From age 6 to 12, they learn principles and after that, they build relationships.
Suddenly I started backtracking our own child rearing history and I discovered that I had very little to do with it because since I could remember, I had 2 jobs, so, it had to be Louwtjie’s techniques! She had been a Junior Primary Teacher for 27 years and I found more answers. Now, I just want to put it out there that we don’t think that we are good parents at all but through God’s Grace we started when they were young.
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6 NKJV