You have to start with Part 1 to give you Background to this series.
Part 5. Is your Will in order?
Often men can really beat themselves up about their responsibility to provide for their families. It was actually my wife who freed me from this burden. I remember how we sat in bed one night when she started telling me what she had in mind for the renovation of our house. Instantly, I had that feeling of inadequacy. I’m sure you know exactly what I mean? In utter despair I said: “I can’t afford that my darling”. Shocked, she stared back at me and said: “I’m not asking YOU, my darling. I’m trusting God! I simply wanted to share my dreams with you as my best friend.” This time I was shocked. I did, however, get the message loud and clear.
I believe most men would have fallen into the same trap. We often quote the verse in 1Ti 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he has denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
Men think they need to spend lots of time at work to be able to earn enough money to buy the things their wives want. In reality, your wife would rather want you than those things.
Now listen, I’m not saying you should be lazy and not play your part. I’m simply trying to bring balance. God is the provider, not you. I’ve never seen someone move to a new town and then go to the “onderdorp next to the railway line” to go and look for a house. We all start in the “upper class” neighbourhood and then look around to see what cars those guys drive. Once we have pictured our “Spot” and visualized how we’re going to drive there in our new car, we start the plans to borrow the money and find the job that will pay for our dreams. That, in my opinion, is a recipe for disaster! Only one small thing must go wrong and you’re in trouble. Before we get into a big debate, I’d like to share another perspective first. Say, for instance, you knew your “1 Liner” and made sure you knew what God had in mind when He sent you to the new town. Don’t you think you should rather ask God where in the new town you should stay and what you should drive to be able to complete the job He has for you in the new town? You see, when we plan to make a speech in another town, we believe we need to earn the money to buy the plane ticket to be able to go and make the speech. Another way to look at it is to say if God wants me to go and make a speech in another town then He’ll give me a way to get there. I think I’m trying to illustrate the difference between “Ownership” and “Stewardship” God never called us to be “Owners” of anything because the Bible clearly says in Psa 24:1 The earth [is] the LORD’S, and the fullness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.
So, in summary, do what you can, be responsible as much as you can. Provide for your family, get Policies in place and have a Will, BUT you are NOT the provider – GOD IS! Your main focus in life is to follow God. Your wife and children actually also belong to God – let Him look after them when you’re gone. I have, however asked God if my wife and I can leave this earth at the same time. I think it is a good request. It makes things simple again. I also believe some men die before their wives because they don’t fulfill God’s plans for their lives and God simply gets tired of waiting for them to get the message.