We often see other people doing things and soon use that as our yard stick. The Bible has many historical facts and we can be mislead in a similar way to move away from God’s initial ‘design’ and just do what other people did.
Verses like Deu 17:17 Neither shall he multiply wives for himself are among God’s Wishlist or Laws Concerning Israel’s Kings
so David clearly fit that description.
Another section in the New Testament describes the ‘Qualifications for Elders or Deacons’
Tit 1:6 if a man is blameless, the husband of one wife, having faithful children not accused of dissipation or insubordination.
1Ti_3:12 Let deacons be the husbands of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well.
It almost looks as if God has different ‘qualifications’ for Leaders and I decided I want to be a leader so I could not have 2 wives. With that established…
We only had 2 choices.
We could end our affair or make it public, get divorced and marry one another. We chose the 2nd option because we didn’t know how to fix our marriages and we were not prepared to live like this for another 40 years. So, on Mother’s Day in May 1995 we told our Partners about the affair and that we wanted “out”. Can you imagine the pain of that announcement.
The result of my choice.
Although this decision released a lot of tension in our relationship, we were not prepared for what happened next:
- Our children could not understand why we didn’t love them enough to stay with them. They couldn’t understand why we loved someone else more than their own mother / father. My children thought I love her children more than them!
- We lost all our friends.
- Our church condemned us.
- My business went under
- I had to sell my sports car – now this was not such a big deal but I just wanted to let you know I was quite successful before all of this started.
- I gave my house and everything in it to Louwtjie.
- I thought all of this was worth it because, at least, I had the girl of my dreams now!
We moved in together and tried to build a new family with her 2 daughters living with us. We soon discovered what “Baggage from your past” can do to a new relationship. We discovered how difficult it was to keep the children happy. We learnt everything about a “Lack of Finance”. We learnt what it was to have an “Ex”
Anyway, after 2 ½ years – Sep 1997, she ended our relationship. Till today I don’t understand why. The only reason I can think of is because God said: ENOUGH. In Oct 1997 He instructed me to go back to Louwtjie and fix my mess.